A long time ago, I created this idea called Verbal Reckoning where I would collect the most absurd claims and arguments from the web and comment on them myself in a thorough, very critical, insulting and sarcastic way…like policing internet trolls (a contradiction in itself). But mostly it was for humor’s sake, entertainment for the soul. This project idea faded quickly as I took interest in other things, but there was one relic from this ancient endeavor which I recently found on my FTP server and still hold close to my heart…
Board Warriors Tell Us How Great It Is To Be Rich
Usually when someone asks for advice about a particular product on a tech forum, people will chime in with their preferences, experiences and opinions, in a somewhat professional manner. Some board warriors (geek term for douche bags) showed up to play grammar police and boast about their wealth, so I followed suit.
Note: I did not partake in the initial discussion. I made a single reply to the thread with comments on the best quotes. For flames directed at me, see the follow-up at the end of the page. The original forum thread can be found here.
If someone smart was to write that sentence, it might look something like this:
Wealthy people are smart enough to know how to save and invest their money.
I guess that means you’re not smart. Nor are you rich.
A twenty million jet? I picked up a three toothbrush from the store the other day. Want to see my eight phallus?
Are you not familiar with credit cards, student loans, finances and mortgages? What about the national debt, you stupid prick? Brillig.com states: “The estimated population of the United States is 299,303,317 so each citizen’s share of this debt is $28,284.94.” Furthermore, from Wikipedia: “As the government represents the people, government debt can be seen as an indirect debt of the tax payers.”
and the work “f-u-c-k”, really, nice job.
You must mean:
In addition, your vocabulary is limited to terms a 5th grader would know, and the word “f-u-c-k”. Nice job, really!
Nice job, really!
Oh, 1 more thing. I want to say, you’re getting owned, get better flames, cursing makes you look stupid.
Since you’re pointing out someone’s obvious shortcomings in English writing, I’ll do the same for you, one sentence at a time:
You used a period instead of a comma.
Poor is an adjective here, but you used a preceding “a” to indicate that it’s a noun. “You self” should be “yourself”. You also forgot a comma after “jealous”, dumbass.
What a gem. You already used the connector “in addition” in a previous sentence, but you forgot the comma this time. In addition, you used the phrase “you have yet to deny” twice in a row (improperly the second time). You used a comma instead of a period or semicolon to separate two independent clauses. So tell us, if his education is no higher than that of a high school drop out, then what’s yours?
You’re getting owned?
Again, you separated independent clauses with commas instead of periods or
semicolons. Cursing doesn’t make you look stupid, but your grammar sure does.
My pleasure, asshole!
A number of replies to my initial post on TomsHardware.com have been made in an attempt to debunk my infinite wisdom. My follow-up to their petty replies was then added to my article; I did not reply directly on TomsHardware.com a second time, for that would be feeding the trolls.
People frequently spend money they don’t have. You said only those who have money can waste it.
Poor can also be a state of being and can therefore be used as a noun, as Pengwin used it.
Since you’re probably still scratching your head about the national debt, use that brain power to read the Dictionary.com definition of the word “poor”.
Your little conspiracy about who I am is nice and all, but you’re wrong again shitbag.
And here u r trying to Make people feel bad (i think thats just pathetic)
Go trap yourself in a freezer.
© 2001-2006 Verbal Reckoning